No One Has Total Control

Quick Summary: In any relationship, neither party has total control; either party can terminate it at any time.


In virtually any relationship, neither side has absolute control over the other.  In the final analysis, both parties need to understand that they are mutually dependent or need to accept the fact that either party can choose to go their separate ways, dissolving the relationship with both parties negatively impacted.  Treating individuals with dignity and respect must be a bidirectional activity.

At the risk of offending individuals that are sensitive to political correctness, a marriage proposal provides an excellent example explaining the title of this article.  The couple is in love.  The young lady anxiously awaits the young man to ask her for her hand in marriage.  Finally, he asks.  And, she says yes.  Plans are made, the wedding day arrives.  Both anxiously await their soon-to-be spouse to appear in front of the church.  Who has total control?  Many books, stories, and movies have been written with both happy and sad endings about these events.  A direct analogy between the couple described above and a vendor-customer relationship can be made.  In both cases, the answer is that no one has total control.  In both cases, either party can terminate the anticipated relationship at any point. 

A major factor that makes personal and business relationships work is captured in the Second Principle described in this collection: “Treat All Individuals with Dignity and Respect.”   In the business setting, the vendor has to do much more than simply “sell” the customer.  The process needs to truthfully describe the features and benefits that the offering will provide that are meaningful to the customer.  Even then, that may not be enough.  As described in the article in this collection, “Transfer Customer Risk,” the sales rep and their company may need to take on a more prominent role in quantifying potential risks the customer may face and develop plans to migrate their impacts if negative events take place.

The prospect has an equal number of responsibilities to help ensure a long term, mutually beneficial relationship.  For both parties, the notion that one must win and one must lose must be totally discarded and replaced with open dialogue and fairness with each party recognizing the need for the other party to view the relationship as successful and look forward to its continued success.  Just like in private, personal situations, business divorces can be equally difficult, with neither party left unscarred. Instead of formulating strategies based on one-upmanship, both parties need to strive to reach the seventh level of customer relationships as described in the article, “Customer Categories,” which is Indispensable Partner.  This level is one level above the Trusted Advisor category and reflects the mutual benefit that can be realized by both parties.  Referring back to the engaged couple story at the beginning of this article, wouldn’t the term indispensable partner be a wonderful goal for a couple starting life together?


Article Number : 5.030704   

A Handy Reference Guide for Executives and Managers at All Levels.

9 Volumes 42 Chapters ~700 Articles

Browse Select Read Download



The weight of your world does not have to be on your shoulders.
The articles in this site will help to lift that weight from your shoulders.
Pick an article similar to how you pick a route on a page of an atlas.
There is no need to look at other articles, just as you ignore other pages in an atlas.
It is easy to start a business but it is hard to run. Bumps and unexpected sharp turns in the road are always present.
Others have traveled the road before you; learn from them. This site may help.